I haven't been writing fiction for very long. I have written poetry for a really long time. I feel like I have a solid original voice when I write poetry, but my voice when it comes to fiction is underdeveloped. Half the time I write one way and the other half the time I write another way and the other half the time... You get my point. It's just not consistent.
So how does one find their voice? They write write write and eventually come up with something. It is funny, this blog is actually closer to my own voice than anything else that I have written, because when I write on here I am just typing what comes into my head and leaving it exactly like that. Now if I were to write fiction and not worry about the way anything sounded, it would be in my own voice, but would it be good?
That is the big problem. As a writer, you want your work to be good. You read other authors that you consider good and you think to yourself, "Wow, I am never going to be able to write like that." It is a little disheartening. But then again, of course I am never going to be able to write like Kafka or Vonnegut, I am not them. If I were to write like them it wouldn't be me.
I worry that I don't have a large enough vocabulary or that I don't construct sentences well enough, but what it all boils down to is, it doesn't matter. I asked my girlfriend earlier if she thinks that I should try to get my latest short story published and she told me that it wasn't a good idea. She told me that it wasn't because the story wasn't good, but because I hadn't found my voice yet. She told me that if I write and write and write I will become a great writer and becoming published will be a side effect of that. Being a great writer should be the goal, not being published. I agree, but I suppose I am selfish at the same time.
What is the point of writing if no one is going to read it? I guess we will find out with this blog. Because no one is going to read it.
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